Personal Art

TW: Mention of sexual assault

I am sharing some art I have made recently, and it is a very vulnerable part of me that I do not talk about. I am talking about my experiences being abused as a child, and painting my feelings on canvas. In addition, I am writing a novel that will be about my experiences, and I have decided to name the people who have hurt me. I am nervous to put that part of myself out there, but I want to do it. I can help myself heal, and hopefully other people in their healing too.

The painting I painted below is showing me in the bathroom, after the first time I was raped by my sixth grade teacher. I am in my uniform, and you can see I am holding bloody tissues. The blindfold symbolizes my blindness to being groomed and taken as a victim of a pedophile. The mirror image is a false representation of the real life scene, as the feet are pointed in a different direction than the real life scene. The girl in the mirror is facing the exit, which could mean she is trying to leave, but this also depicts how I depersonalized and dissociated in order to survive that incident as well as the others to come. The girl in the mirror shows how part of me just left that day, and hid from then on to survive.

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